


Leave A Light On

by ApolloLoki97



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abraham deserved better, Daryl is going through it, Gen, Hilltop, Post Daryl Prisoner, Songfic, The Hilltop (Walking Dead), fuck will dixon, glenn deserved better, i miss them, negan is an asshole, season 7, someone give daryl a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25409890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApolloLoki97/pseuds/ApolloLoki97
Summary: Inspired by the song: "Leave a Light On" by Tom Walker, You are Daryl's best friend and you find him after he escapes the Sanctuary when he on his way back to Hilltop from Kingdom. You encourage him to open up and assure him that you will all get through this.----Or a conversation with Daryl about the trauma he experienced with Negan.
Relationships: Daryl & Reader, Daryl Dixon & You
Kudos: 12





	Leave A Light On

**Author's Note:**

> When I first listened to this song, I fell in love. And then when I got this request, I listened again and immediately thought of Daryl after he escaped Negan’s clutches. I like to think that a conversation happened like this with Rick at some point and I loved the one he had with Maggie in the cellar so this is what came out of the song!

_The second someone mentioned you were all alone **  
**_

_I could feel the trouble coursing through your veins_

_Now I know, it’s got a hold_

The walls of the Hilltop stood tall, protecting its citizens from the Undead monsters of the new world.

However, now there were more than just Walkers to worry about. The Savior threat hung above them like a guillotine and the people of the Hilltop, Alexandria, and Kingdom were just waiting for the blade to fall. 

Negan had been ruthless while his foot rested on your neck and the others, but now it seemed Rick was ready to fight back and finally there was hope again within the communities. You were one of Rick’s right hands, helping keep the group safe since you joined them at the prison.

When Negan had captured your people you had been with Jesus, looking for medication and ammunition. When you had returned to Alexandria and Carl told you what had happened to Glenn and Abraham, you felt…broken. Then Rosita revealed that Negan had taken Daryl and you couldn’t stay inside those walls any longer.

Daryl Dixon was your person. It was an unspoken friendship in some ways. You taught him how to rewire radios and practiced hand to hand combat while he taught you to track and survive in the woods. Everyone in both of your lives knew that you would die for Daryl and he, for you.

Without him by your side, you did everything you could to find a way to get an edge up on the new enemy. Negan didn’t know you, neither did Dwight. To the Saviors, you were a ghost and you wanted to keep it that way. You left Alexandria and moved into the woods, keeping your eye on both Hilltop and Alexandria, watching the roads and keeping a radio close in case chatter appeared over the waves.

_Just a phone call left unanswered, had me sparking up_

_These cigarettes won’t stop me wondering where you are_

_Don’t let go, keep a hold_

The day you were heading back towards Hilltop to check in on Maggie, Enid’s voice came over your radio. She didn’t say much except that you needed to get to Hilltop because Rick wanted to fight and that plans were being made. However, when you arrived, Maggie had explained that Jesus had taken the group to another community called Kingdom and that Daryl was with them.

Hearing the knowledge that Daryl had escaped the Sanctuary made you feel like you could finally breathe again. You knew he was stronger than most people, but you also knew about his past and if there was one thing you learned about Negan from the others, Daryl wasn’t being treated as a human being within the walls of the factory and that feeling was all too familiar to him.

You also knew that after Glenn, there was only one place Daryl would want to be right now and so you waited for his return. You were on your second pass along the East wall when you heard footsteps coming through the woods adjacent to the community and you decided to meet him halfway.

You made your presence known as you trekked through the dark woods and it didn’t take long for him to track your movement. As you turned a corner, sliding your hand along a tree trunk, you felt a blade press into your back. “I would think after all the years we’ve known each other, you would know the sound of my boots by now, Daryl,” you whispered, staying completely still. 

“(Y/N)?” Daryl said, removing the knife and turning you around by your shoulders. It was hard to see him in the dark, but you would always know him. Daryl wrapped his arms around you, bringing you close and resting his head on your shoulder. 

You held him back, feeling his arms tighten their hold on you. “Are you okay?” You whispered into his chest. You felt him nod against you. “Enid told me Rick was coming back to fight and then when Maggie said you got out, I couldn’t believe it.”

“I’m alright,” Daryl said, pulling back and brushing your hair aside.

“Are you?” You asked again, looking at him closer, trying to see through the hair that created a curtain around his face. Even in the low light of the moon, you could see those eyes of his. The normally bright blue irises were darkened by something much deeper and you recognized it immediately. You had had the same look in your own eyes when the Governor had held you captive in Woodbury and it had been Daryl who saved you.

“Don’t,” Daryl warned as he saw the change in your expression, but you weren’t backing down. You reached up, trying to see more of him, but he grabbed your wrists before you could make contact.

“Daryl,” you sighed. 

“Leave it alone, (Y/N), I said m’fine,” he said. 

“I don’t believe you,” you told him, grabbing his face and making him look at you. “You think I can’t see it? After all this time? I know you, Dixon, and I know when you are hurting. I don’t need to dig deep, I can see it plain on your face.” 

Daryl pushed away from you, running his hands through his hair. You didn’t advance on him again, you just waited as Daryl paced. It was something he always did when he was thinking or he was frustrated. It was also something you had gotten used to over the years. However, it was what came after that was always the hard part and that was his anger. 

“Daryl, it’s okay,” you said quietly, but he shook his head. 

“No,” he said, “ain’t none of this okay! Glenn, Abraham, and now Olivia and Spencer! How is any of that okay, (Y/N)?” 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” you challenged. 

“Well that’s what it sounded like,” he snapped. “What do ya know about it anyway?” This time, you did approach him, your own emotions boiling up to the surface. 

“What are we talking about? The deaths? Or the fact that you aren’t the only one to be held captive?” Daryl stared at you, his jaw rigid. “Did you forget what happened to me at Woodbury? You were the one who saved me, Daryl,” you said, your voice breaking slightly. “Whether you want to believe it or not, I know you aren’t keeping it together inside.”

“I ain’t talkin’ about this,” he said, marching past you, but you grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop. 

“No! Do not shut me out!” You ordered. “Please talk to me.”

“Why? So ya can fix me?” He snapped. In the dark, he seemed even bigger than usual. It was as if there was a whole new layer of Daryl. A harder exterior had formed from his time in the Sanctuary and you could tell it weighed on him heavily. 

“You’re not broken,” you told him sternly, making sure to keep eye contact. “Do you hear me, Daryl? You. Are. Not. Broken.” He looked at you and slowly that hostile tension began to dissipate. He began to look like your Daryl again. 

_If you look into the distance, there’s a house upon the hill_

_Guiding like a lighthouse to a place where you’ll be_

_Safe to feel our grace ‘cause we’ve all made mistakes_

_If you’ve lost your way_

“I can’t,” he whispered. 

“You can’t what?” 

“I can’t talk about it, (Y/N),” he said, his eyes on his boots. You took his hands in yours. Gripping his hands tight, you made sure he felt how sturdy you were. You needed him to know you were there for him, that you could be his rock. 

“Okay, you don’t have to,” you assured him. “But I need you to stop punishing yourself. Daryl, it wasn’t your fault. Stop trying to go further into the darkness when you know his death is not on your hands.”

“It is,” he whispered, just barely audible. “It’s my fault.”

“No,” you said, gripping tighter, “Negan killed Glenn. It was all Negan. Glenn’s death is on his hands.”

“I hit him,” Daryl said, “ya weren’t there, (Y/N), he warned us not to move and I…I lost it and then he killed him. Right in front of Maggie…” Daryl rested his forehead against yours and you could feel a slight tremble going through him. “He shoulda killed me.” 

“Daryl…” you gasped. “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that you hear me? You are still here. I am still here. Maggie and the baby are safe and we’re gonna get through this.” 

“It was like watchin’ it all over again,” Daryl said after a moment of silence. 

“Watching what?”

“My old man,” Daryl clarified, “Seein’ the way Negan beat Abraham…and I couldn’t do nothin’. It was just like when Merle would take the beatins’.” You didn’t say anything as Daryl spoke of his father. Will Dixon wasn’t Daryl’s favourite subject and from the brief meeting you had with Merle before his death, the elder Dixon brother hated their old man just as much.

You knew about the abuse on both of them. You had seen the scars on Daryl’s back multiple times. You, alongside Rick and Carol, were the only ones that he didn’t hide them from. Most of the group knew Daryl had a rough upbringing, but only the three of you knew the extent of the damage. You also had a feeling that perhaps Beth knew some of it as well. 

_….I will leave the light on_

Daryl Dixon had been a survivor long before the world Turned and you knew that it had only made him stronger. You just wished he could see it that way too. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, Daryl, but I want to try to help if I can,” you told him, running your hands up his arms carefully. 

“It’s not yer job,” he said. You shook your head and then took his hand and pulled him over to a fallen tree. You sat down and pulled him down next to you. Daryl sat there, his leg pressed to yours. 

“Who says it’s not?” You asked. “Why can’t it be my job?” Daryl looked at you, shaking the hair out of his eyes. The two of you had been in a similar situation before. Just after Grady, you had found him trying not to break down. You had sat next to him and just listened to his breathing, waiting for him to speak. He never did open up to you about losing Beth, but he had calmed down with you next to him, holding his arm. You were now hoping this time Daryl would be more forthcoming if he was up to it.

“I know I wasn’t there to help you,” you continued, “but I’m here now.” Daryl took a deep breath, dropping his forearms to his knees and looking out at the black wall of trees that surrounded you both. He ran a dirty hand over his face as you waited. Eventually, Daryl relaxed more and his hands stopped trembling. 

“It was horrible,” he whispered finally. You were silent as he spoke, not wanting to have him shut down again. “They kept me in the dark for days, feedin’ me barely anythin’ and blastin’ this infernal song…” he shuddered at the memory and you took his hand. He didn’t pull away at your touch, instead, he rubbed small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb as if you were the one who needed comfort. “Eventually, they made me work around the factory.” 

Using his other hand, Daryl dug out a pack of cigarettes. You figured Jesus had found them for him or he had taken them when he had escaped along with the clothing he had apparently stolen. His finger shuffled with the pack, but your other hand covered it, gently taking the pack from him. Daryl let you take away the cigarettes and didn’t say anything as you slid them into your own pocket.

Smoking was one of the other things he did when he was trying to fight himself from opening up. You didn’t want him to stop now and a part of you thought that perhaps Daryl felt the same way. He didn’t go for the pack again, but instead, lay the unoccupied hand over the one that held yours. 

_Tell me what’s been happening, what’s been on your mind_

_Lately you’ve been searching for a darker place_

_To hide, that’s alright_

“What else?” You asked softly. 

“He makes everyone kneel,” Daryl revealed, “no matter what, people were always on their damn knees as if he was some kind of god. And the women, (Y/N),” his eyes met yours, “he has all these women married to him like they’re damn prizes.” You knew about the wives. Carl had told everyone when Negan had brought him back and Maggie had informed you when Enid called you back to Hilltop. 

“Does he hurt them?” You asked. 

“Nah,” Daryl assured you, “but they ain’t free to be with their real husbands. Sherry, Dwight’s girl, she was the one who got me out.” That was something you didn’t know. You had just figured Daryl had seen his moment of opportunity. 

“Where is she now? Still with Negan?” 

“She’s gone,” Daryl said, “Ran away, not sure if she’s alive or not.” 

“A woman like that, I gotta believe she can handle herself,” you told him reassuringly. Then, you brought up what Aaron had told you about shortly after the first visit the Saviors made to Alexandria. “You went home for the first pick-up.” Daryl nodded. 

“Son of a bitch used me to torture Rick. Treated me like his damn dog,” Daryl said harshly, but his touch on your hands remained soft and gentle. 

“There’s somethin’ else, isn’t there?” you asked, leaning against him. Daryl continued to play with your fingers, slowly releasing that pent up anger and frustration. 

“I tried,” Daryl whispered, “I tried to help him, Dwight, and Sherry and her sister. They ran from Negan weeks ago and I…I tried to bring em’ home.”

“I know,” you said, remembering that particular story. 

“Maybe Rick was right,” Daryl said, “people ain’t worth savin’ no more.”

“Is that what you really believe?” Daryl was quiet again, but you had your answer. No matter what happened to him or anyone else, Daryl was never going to stop believing in people. He had too big a heart not to. “Daryl Dixon,” you said softly, “I need you to listen to me very closely.” 

_But if you carry on abusing, you’ll be robbed from us_

_I refuse to lose another friend to drugs_

_Just come home, don’t let go_

Daryl looked at you again, this time giving his full attention. That was something else you loved about your best friend. He listened when you spoke and he would do everything to make sure you knew you were being heard. “You sometimes forget how important you are, Daryl,” you continued. “I can’t lose you and I can’t have you lose your way. Negan thinks he can break us, break you, but we are stronger than this. You are stronger than this. I know damn well that Negan is not the worst monster out there. We’ve seen evil take many forms and we’ve always beat it. Don’t you dare think that we won’t win this war.”

“(Y/N)…” Daryl said, tilting his head, but you weren’t done yet.

“You have to stop beating yourself up about this, Daryl,” you went on, “I refuse to lose any more friends because of Negan. I already lost Glenn and Abraham, do not make me lose you too. I am here with you and I am not going anywhere. None of us are. You have family and a home and we’ve never given up on you so don’t think we’re going to start now.”

_If you look into the distance, there’s a house upon the hill_

_Guiding like a lighthouse to a place where you’ll be_

_Safe to feel our grace 'cause we’ve all made mistakes_

_If you’ve lost your way_

_….I will leave the light on_

“I don’t know what to do,” Daryl admitted. A single tear rolled him his eyes and he ignored it, letting it drop to the dying earth below your feet. 

“That’s okay,” you said, “If you’re lost, I’m here. I will always be here, no matter what. You’re safe with me, Daryl Dixon.” Daryl dropped his hard exterior then as he folded into your arms. You immediately wrapped yourself around him, gripping him tight as he cried in your arms. You knew that he had been holding all of this inside him for too long. Not only did the anger live in his heart, but the grief and the sadness as well.

In the dark of the woods, you held each other and felt every death and every loss. The trees, the night air, all of it was familiar to you both and it felt right to hold him. Daryl was the person that would always be trying to help other people and never himself. It was if the world around him always had to keep turning, but he didn’t care if he spun along with it. It was something you had always admired about him. His undying devotion and loyalty to the group that became his family. 

_If you look into the distance, there’s a house upon the hill_

_Guiding like a lighthouse, it’s a place where you’ll be_

_Safe to feel our grace and if you’ve lost your way_

_If you’ve lost your way (I will leave the light on)_

Through the trees, you could see the warm light that came from Barrington House. It was such a simple thing, the house that stood proud at the center of Hilltop, but to you and yours, it was something that changed the world. Jesus had brought you to the Hilltop with a promise of trade and community and it was exactly where Daryl needed to be right now. 

You knew Jesus, Maggie, Sasha, and Enid would be there for Daryl even if he said he didn’t need it. You were all in this together now and it was an unspoken rule that if one person was down on their luck, everyone rose up to protect them. You also knew that Daryl was feeling lost. The waves of emotion he unleashed were evidence enough and you swore then that if you ever stood before Negan, the bat-wielding bastard would soon know hell on earth before you were done with him.

_And I know you’re down and out now, but I need you to be brave_

_Hiding from the truth ain’t gonna make this all okay_

“Don’t hide from the truth,” you whispered to him, feeling his weight against you, “You don’t always need to be the strong one, Daryl.” Daryl leaned back then and you reached up, wiping the tears from his face. “Let someone else be strong for you.” He looked at you with admiration that only came from years of friendship and having each other’s backs. Daryl leaned forward and kissed your forehead. 

“Yer one of the good ones,” Daryl said to you, giving you a small smile. 

“Where do you think I learned it from?” Daryl sighed, finally returning his breathing to a steady rhythm. “You’re gonna be okay, Daryl. Hilltop is going to keep you safe and when the time is right, we’re gonna fight.” 

“You gotta head back home, right?” he asked, already knowing your answer. 

“Rick is gonna need my help if we plan on taking on the Saviors,” you said with a small smile of your own. “Alexandria isn’t the same without you.”

“I can’t come home yet,” Daryl said, but you already knew that. “Not to Alexandria.” You took his hand and pulled him to his feet. Reaching up, you wrapped your arms around his neck in a warm hug. Daryl held you back. Your best friend was finally back in your arms and everything began to feel right again. No matter what happened next, you would fight to be by his side for the rest of your lives. 

_I see your pain, if you don’t feel our grace_

_And you’ve lost your way_

_….I will leave the light on_

You pulled back, holding his face in yours. “Your place is here right now, but when you can come home,” you whispered, “I’ll leave my light on.”


End file.
